Go fly a kite used to be something we barked at pests, delinquents and nuisances to do with their time and loathsome selves. Coronavirus however, has breathed new life into this former insulting imperative. Today we did just that. In a manner of speaking. Well, we gave it our best shot. You should surely applaud that ……………………….please?
First we ensured that we followed the great cultural tradition of “Errrr, do you remember where the scissors, cellotape, string, thread and ribbons are?” Vague snippets of memorised moments would flit by in the big screen that lives somewhere inside our hollow heads. Ahh yes, you see yourself holding the object in question, you know it’s in the living room or some other area of the house, then you see yourself turning around, and the little ‘mindcam’ video abruptly ends. You’ll never know wtf you did with it now, not unless you can find a psychic or a hyponotist, both of which are off-bounds during a pandemic. It took a while to give this great and noble calling, that prizes confusion as its focus, its due, but perservere we did. Eventually, like two flagging, old, infected work-horses, we settled for whatever we could find and resigned ourselves to inferior outcomes. Isn’t this the way of life? Sigh.
It’s been a while since we completed a craft project. We were polite and made sure to allow the other the use of implements at different points, without giving in to irritation. And let me tell you, I was tested, sorely tested. But, I am so determined to shine bright like a 100W lightbulb of the old kind, before the new fangled and weird modern ones, that I stayed the course.
Pluto made a truly interesting kind of kite. He did some bizarre folding of corners rather than cut a shape from an A4 sized page, and some curious witchcraft with the strings. I settled for a rehashing of the many kites I had made in my childhood, featuring a sort of diamond shape with a cross made of thin sticks to give it form. Pretty basic and pretty efficient, as my memory seemed to reassure me. It could all be lies, but I’m not one to quibble. It’s fascinating to realise just how much precious information from childhood has been scrambled or even dusted into untidy scenes littered with doubt.
Oh, you’ll be very amused to know that I used an advertisement from some business that sells beds as the material from which to cut out my kite. It featured a handy picture of a greatly magnified and vomit-inducing bed bug on the back too. Have a look at the picture of the advert and see if you can spot the bed bug, if you’re up for it. Haha.
It certainly took a good while to complete our projects. It involved a lot of sharing of implements, which we both managed to endure with a fair amount of politeness. There was no other way around it, other than to try searching for more implements, which is a quick way to serious and sustained conflict! If you know what I am talking about, please nod sagely.
As we have all realised in the UK, life likes taking the pee. It likes unleashing pandemics, causing lockdowns, only to then light up the UK with sunshine, blue skies and the unmistakeable vibe that can only come from Spring time. Some of this irony is thankfully dampened by the cold breeze that has slowly matured into a wind, and sometimes gale. It spent much of today trying its hand at playing the wind chimes and yanking tree tops just for fun, but sadly, the moment we set foot outdoors, it became shy and subdued. Still, we are made of stern stuff, and refused to withdraw so early in the game. Instead, we pushed on.
Mimicking seagull mothers teaching their offspring to fly is no easy feat, but if you had seen us, you’d think you were in the wilds of Brighton, maybe witnessing yet another miracle of flight in the busy Brighton Marina! We walked fast, because running isn’t much of a health and safety win, and held our kites aloft. The wind, clearly too busy laughing to do its actual job, struggled to liberate the kites beyond a few metres. My kite reminded me more of an eagle, diving to the ground to catch an imaginary rabbit. It did look pretty though, there is no denying that. We tried different spots in the garden, only to experience fleeting moments of mini successes, but several moments of kites almost landing with a thud. I also made sure that the tail of my kite did not approach a dog turd that was making a statement in the long grass. Tsk!
Despite our modest success today, we remain hopeful that when the next wind storm strikes, that our kites will rise forth like two wood pigeons: blundering and scary, but mastering flight nevertheless. Hope is a powerful thing, and it is the first to raise itself when any undertaking is to be successful. I promise to document the future flight of the bed shop adverts fashioned into kites, with the same exhilerating style I’ve used here. You won’t be sorry. Here’s some pics of the kites, and below those, is a pic and little bit of gossip about an interesting vehicle we saw today.
In other news, we also saw a fire engine. This was almost as exciting as trying to make our kites fly. Rest assured, there were no fires, no cats hanging from trees or any other dilemma for the heroes who do such a job. There were some blue lights and some voices heard, but that was all. I even took a picture just for you all to look at. Admit it, your heart skipped a beat when you read about the fire engine. It’s the price we pay as self isolation experts at this time. Nothing is too boring to notice or explore!
